it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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