Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize