Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
