TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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