i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
