i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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