They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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