so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Randomize
