garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
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