We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He better not be in your backpack
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
