check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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