Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
