Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
