Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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