How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
