doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
