Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
