my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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