from now on my penis is your penis
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
