Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
