'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
