4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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