he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
