we have pet lesbian snakes
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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