You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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