I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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