the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
