What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
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