So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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