whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
