Dual....:-)
What did we do last night that was yellow?
you didnt know i had herpes?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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