Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
