no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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