i was born a porn star she said
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
