he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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