No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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