Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
