About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize