dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
