so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
