The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize