...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
