I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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