put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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