We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
