My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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