Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Alive.
So much puke
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
