chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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