True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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