Will you blow on my dice?
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
