I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Randomize
