Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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