the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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