Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
