I can tuck mytits in my pants
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize