Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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