At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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