lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
