Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
