I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
